What to Tell Colleges about Yourself

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Ella Troiano, Staff Writer

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College applications can be stressful and it’s hard to know what to include. We’re will help you decide the most important things to add to your application. Colleges want to know about you and it’s time to share what makes you the perfect candidate.

  • Tell them your are TikTok famous. Tell colleges that TikTok has not only given you a career but taught you dedication. Everyday you go home after school (sometimes in school too) and make TikToks for your followers. Why you so obsessed with me? Boy I want to know…
  • You’re not only a leader but a really good follower. When your friends call you up at 4 am and tell you to do something, you do it. You do a really good job at following your ex boyfriend on Instagram (and in real life) to keep tabs on him. Also when your mom goes to Walmart, you follow her shopping cart around to make sure she gets good snacks- Cheez-its, Oreos, you name it.
  • Very capable of decorating your room. We all know how important decorating your dorm room is. You need to let colleges to know that you have a leg up. No need to search Pottery Barn Teen for matching duvets. Go ahead and tell your roommate you got the room covered and buy those lava lamps and dream catchers. 
  • Promise not to bring your dog that ate your homework throughout all of high school. Make sure to include that any missing homework is not lost but in your backyard- in the dog’s dumps. Promise colleges you’ll leave Fluffy behind, even though you really know you won’t. You can always show up on the first day and tell the RA that Fluffy is your emotional support dog. Your roommate might need emotional support after you set up the dog’s litter box.
  • Shotgun a Capri Sun. This doesn’t even need a description. Everyone knows this is cool.
  • Your mom will pay $500,000 for you to get in and be on the rowing team. For those of us who are a little worried that the rest of the list might not be enough to get you in, slip the admissions counselor a note saying your mom will pay $500,000. It worked for Olivia Jade. It also wouldn’t hurt to say that you’re really good on the rowing machine at the YMCA. You can do tons of reps so you’d definitely be valuable on the rowing team.
  • Bring your stamp collection. Your stamps set you apart. Show that off. Your collection is sure to get you friends. Those college freshmen will be flocking to your dorm to see that stamp from 1808.
  • Include your Venmo. If the admissions counselors are feeling nice, they might send you a few dollars. Maybe even enough to afford to go to college. 
  • You’re going to leave your imaginary friend at home but you’ll bring your mom. We know Alfred has been through a lot with you, but it’s time to leave him behind. Your mom, on the other hand, is not so easily ditched. Just go ahead and let the college know that your mom has requested to come to college with you. It’ll save everyone some tears. 
  •  You will never close your door, not ever. You are very willing to sacrifice your privacy to make friends. People can stop by any hour. Colleges love to see that kind of dedication. You might lose a few items when you leave for class but there’s sure to be new friends when you return.