Horoscopes

Anna Dunn, Staff Writer

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Creating Horoscopes is a difficult job.  The stars decide the fates and I just transcribe what they say.  I give bad news, good news, and some vague information that must be interpreted in the context of the lives of the readers.  The reactions I receive can be hard for me to accept. When the horoscope is not complementary, I get hate, and when one doesn’t understand the meaning it has in their lives, they dismiss it as fiction. Sometimes, people argue against them because they’re too scared to admit they’re true.  Yet, it’s a burden I must shoulder, to interpret the future.  

These next horoscopes are vague, to say the least.  Interpret them as you will, but know they all have a place in your life.  You may not know how they fit now, but you will.  

Leo: July 23 – August 23

Remember the Alamo.  

Virgo: August 24 – September 22

Cats.

Libra: September 23 – October 23 

Rejuvenation/Tigers.

Scorpio: October 24 – November 22 

Check your privilege.

Sagittarius: November 23 – December 21

Church/Demons.

Capricorn: December 22 – January 20

UN Human Rights Council.

Aquarius: January 21 – February 18

Nigeria.

Pisces: February 19 – March 20

Math tests.

Aries: March 21 – April 20

Counter terrorism.

Taurus: April 21 – May 21

Environmental standards.

Gemini: May 22 – June 21

Duck.

Cancer:  June 22 – July 22

Jumper cables.