Dear Felicity Falcon (Issue 12)

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Dear Felicity Falcon (Issue 12)

Felicity Falcon, Advice columnist

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Dear Felicity Falcon,

“My boyfriend doesn’t want me anymore. Help!!!” 

Okay, first of all, calm down and reevaluate the situation…

  • 1) If he didn’t like you anymore, why would he still be dating you? Is it possible that you could be overreacting? Think about it in these terms: If your best friend was telling you about their relationship, and it was a carbon copy of your current situation, what would you tell them? 
  • 2) The foundation of any meaningful relationship is built on communication. Talk to him. When you both have some time alone, sit down and ask him, flat out, if anything has changed. There’s no way you can fix the situation and feel better if you don’t voice your concerns. Be open, but don’t be an emotional wreck. Chances are…
  • a) To him, nothing is wrong. If (in his eyes) you’re overly emotional for apparently no reason, you’ll be leaving him confused, worried, and maybe even a little repelled.
  • b) Something else could be bothering him. If this is the case, you want to give him the opportunity to voice his feelings/concerns, which is difficult if his first instinct is to comfort you.
  • c) If, worst case scenario, he is in fact losing interest in you and wants to break up, the last thing you want to be is weak or vulnerable. 
  • 3) Every relationship has its different phases. First there’s this weird, early phase where the two of you are beginning to show romantic affection for one another. Then there’s the notorious honeymoon phase, where the two of you are attached to the hip, texting each other between classes, and desperately waiting for the next time you’ll see each other. Finally, there’s simply the long-run phase, where the honeymoon phase is coming to a close and now the two of you are wonderfully comfortable with each other and unfiltered. The only downfall of the long-run phase, if you get there, is that the consistent passion and butterflies dwindle a bit. Maybe your boyfriend is simply transitioning to the long-run phase faster than you are. Or maybe the honeymoon phase is coming to a close and your boyfriend is confused, having assumed that from now on, it was just supposed to be never-ending bliss. Either way…
  • 4) No matter what, you’re going to be okay. The fact that you took the time to write down your problem, stick it in the advice bin, and wait for a response means that you really care about this person…and that’s a beautiful thing in itself. If, hopefully, we’re right and there’s nothing really wrong, wonderful! I give you two my blessing!! If not, just know that it’s better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. Treasure the memories that the two of you shared and move on, knowing that you do not need to be in a relationship to be happy. You just need to be you.

Sincerely, 

Felicity Falcon