Green Hope Furloughs Popular Falcon Mascot
January 8, 2021
The Panthers have Sir Purr, the Tar Heels have Rameses, the Hurricanes have Stormy, and Green Hope has the Falcon. These mascots spend their days entertaining fans, but as of late there have been no fans to entertain, meaning no need for mascots. Recently, citing budget concerns, Green Hope furloughed the Falcon.
Suddenly cut off from his salary, the Falcon has been forced to take up odd jobs in order to survive. Immediately after being furloughed, the Falcon applied for a mascot position at the local Chick-Fil-A. Unfortunately, the Falcon didn’t get the job because he “wasn’t quite on-brand for Chick-Fil-A,” and was told to reapply if he became white with black spots.
Knowing his dining mascot dreams would never come to fruition, he decided to explore one of his other interests: flying! After somehow managing to get inside the cockpit of a plane, the Falcon realized that flying a plane might be slightly more complex than flying with wings. After spending several hours trying to “turn the plane on”, he was forcibly removed from the cockpit by frustrated passengers who had been sitting on the plane all day.
The poor, dejected Falcon was forced to move into a slightly less glamorous career: professional duck feeding. Though this task is generally appreciated by ducks, ducks also happen to be natural prey of falcons. Consequently, the Cary duck population declined sharply while the Falcon held this position, leading to his firing.
The Falcon is still searching for a reliable job to make it through this tough time, please contact him if you are in need of (or simply would like to give money to) a fun-loving green bird.
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